When Your Principles Conflict With Each Other
I encountered an interesting situation a couple of days ago.
It was an example where some of my principles conflicted with each other.
Here’s what happened:
My wife and I went to lunch at a quaint bakery shop that’s run by some very nice people. They’re usually fairly busy and this day was no exception.
I usually don’t do well at restaurants, as I’m not a big fan of sugar, nor am I a fan of salt.
I had just finished a long walk and my body was craving carbohydrates.
When I looked over the menu, there weren’t too many choices. It was mostly bacon, ham and eggs or lots of sticky, incredibly sugary sweet pastries.
I saw waffles on the menu for $13 and they came with ham and eggs.
I told my waiter I was vegetarian and asked if I could have 2 waffles instead of the ham and eggs. He said yes.
I specifically asked that he NOT put any extra sugar on top of the waffles and I even inquired as to how sweet the waffle batter was.
Well, when the food came out, let’s just say my worst fears were realized.
I was given two waffles on 2 separate plates and they were covered with powdered sugar. Rather than objecting to my waiter, I figured I could just brush off the sugar.
I took one bite into the waffle and immediately felt and incredible sugar rush. These guys were loaded with sugar.
I simply sat through the meal while my wife ate and didn’t eat any more of my waffles. I then asked for a to go box so I could put my waffles into the box BEFORE the restaurant owner figured out I wasn’t eating them.
He’s a nice guy and I did NOT want to object.
When I went to pay my bill, guess what they did?
The waiter charged me for 2 orders of waffles (at $13 a piece), even though I wasn’t given the ham or eggs on either order (as I told him I didn’t want them).
By this point, I was pretty livid.
However, I did something different from what I normally would have done.
I simply paid by bill, said thank you, and walked out of the restaurant (vowing to myself to never return).
What would the 15 concepts of the Quantum Leap Productivity system say about my experience?
Here’s What Until #1 States
Until we start “telling it like it is” and then begin adjusting our actions accordingly, we will never achieve our maximum potential and evolve as a species.
If I followed this rule, I would have had to tell both my waiter and the restaurant owner about my experience and about my unhappiness.
Here’s What Law #3 – The Law of Personal Responsibility States
One must stop blaming others for anything wrong in their life. In fact, one must also stop blaming themselves. BLAME IS IRRELEVANT. All that matters is what are you going to do to fix the problem ?
Here’s My Analysis At The Time This Was Happening
I figured I probably should tell the restaurant owner what they did wrong. However, he was in the middle of serving a crowded restaurant and all I would have done was come across as a big grouch and the restaurant owner would probably have gotten defensive. I’m sure he would have taken one or both of my waffles off my bill, but I wasn’t looking to get out of paying for my food. On the other hand, how is the restaurant owner going to know that he’s serving food with an unholy amount of sugar in it to his guests if I don’t tell him?
However, this was a restaurant located in a bakery. What would one expect to find in a bakery but sugar?
So the question is, who was to blame for the situation?
Was it the waiter and restaurant owner who were unable to make my food to my satisfaction, or was it my fault because I probably shouldn’t have gone to that restaurant in the first place?
It doesn’t matter. As Law #3 above states, BLAME IS IRRELEVANT. All that matters is figuring out what needs to be done to fix the problem and then doing it.
So, the waiter wasn’t at fault.
The restaurant owner wasn’t at fault.
I wasn’t at fault.
The problem was that I shouldn’t have been eating at that restaurant in the first place.
The solution is for me to never go back to that restaurant.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
There’s just one problem. I didn’t want to let it go. My experience bothered me for the next couple of hours.
Part of me wanted to call the restaurant owner and tell him that he overcharged me and that he serves food that is so sweet that it’s inedible.
Another part of me said I should take personal responsibility and just live with the situation and move on.
So, what was the solution?
The solution was to apply Law #5 and change my focus.
Law #5 – The Law of Focus states:
Whatever we focus our attention on expands in our lives. If one focuses on positives, then positives will occur in their life. If one focuses on negatives, then negatives will occur in one’s life. Consequently, the ability to focus on the most important task at hand is the key to success.
I was focus on the negatives. I was focusing on the bad part of my experience.
After thinking about it for a little while, I decided to start focusing on the positives.
I decided to focus on the fact that I was able to let this experience go in a more mature, more adult manner than I might have done in the past.
In other words, I learned from my experience.
Once I changed my focus to the positive, I was able to let it go and to move on.
I stopped focusing on the negative past and I started focusing on the positive future that is possible.
Benefit #5 states:
By incorporating Law #5 – The Law of Focus into our lives, we will be creating a society that focuses on the positive things that are possible and one that stops focusing on the negative things that hold us back.
I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of society I want to live in.
Please feel free to comment below.
As you read these posts, you may find that you want to learn more about the entire Quantum Leap Productivity system and The 15 Concepts. If you do, you will find instructions for learning more about said system here.
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Until next time, remember, Change Begins With You.