Life and Death – A 50 Year Perspective …
I know many of you are either dealing with or have dealt with the loss of one or both of your parents, as well as siblings, spouses and even children. I hope my sharing this post with you helps you heal.
Today is a memorable day for me. It’s a day I’ve been thinking about for quite some time.
Today, September 13, 2017 is the 50th anniversary of the most impactful day of my entire life.
Today, September 13, 2017 is the 50th anniversary of the day my mother died when I was 8 years old.
Looking back, I think I knew it was coming (she had been sick), but I most certainly wasn’t prepared for it.
After all, how can any 8 year old child who was close to their mother be prepared for the death of their mother?
Over the past 50 years, I’ve gone through pretty much most of the stages:
- sense of loss;
- lack of understanding as to why my mother didn’t prepare me;
- trauma; and
- lots more
Now 50 years later, I find I’ve stopped asking those questions and I’ve stopped feeling those emotions.
Now all I feel is love and appreciation.
- I feel love for what my mother taught me and gave to me while she was alive;
- I feel appreciation for how well she prepared me for the long-haul (despite the many speedbumps I encountered along the way);
- I feel appreciation for what the experience has taught me;
- I feel appreciation for the fact I’m able to help others deal with their experiences as a result of having had my own experiences.
In other words, I’ve changed my perspective. I’ve learned to look at things differently.
Until #6 states:
Until we change our perspective and realize that everything we give and everything we receive in life is a privilege, we will never achieve our maximum potential and evolve as a species.
I’ve stopped complaining that I only had my mother for the first 8 years of my life.
I’ve started appreciating the fact that I had her for 8 incredible years and appreciating the fact she gave me everything she had to give for as long as she was able to give it.
In other words, spending the first 8 years of my life with my mother was a privilege.
Law #6, the Law of Perspective states:
Sometimes life requires a change in perspective. One’s previous life challenges have made them into the person they are today and given them the potential to develop a fuller perspective as a result, provided they learn from said experiences and move on, as opposed to dwelling on them and looking back.
My mother dying when I was only 8 years old was unexpected and it certainly wasn’t something I asked for.
However, her dying when I was so young was a challenge that life threw at me and dealing with that challenge has made me into the person I am today.
Somewhere along the way I chose to stop dwelling on the fact she died when I was so young and instead I chose to remember her, to cherish her and to then move on.
Does this mean I should forget her? Of course not. It simply means I should remember her, I should love her and I should remember everything she taught me and then apply it in a positive, healthy, loving manner for the remainder of my years on this planet.
Benefit #6 states:
By incorporating Law #6 – The Law of Perspective into our lives, we will be creating a society where everything becomes a privilege and nothing is an obligation. We will be creating a society where everyone is encouraged to help each other and to care for each other.
By changing my perspective, I’ve been able to realize that my time with her was a privilege and that each and every day of my life is a privilege.
I am NOT entitled to have a perfect life.
I am NOT entitled to have a good day today.
Instead, I am privileged that most aspects of my life are wonderful and that most days of my life are good ones.
If you have someone (such as a parent) with whom you’re not currently speaking, it’s time to bury the hatchet.
Call them up. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them you love them. Cherish them and cherish your relationship.
I certainly know that I would give quite a bit to be able to pick up the phone and call my mother, even if it was just for one minute.
Yet I can’t.
Many of us can’t.
But, many of us can and it’s my hope that your reading this convinces you to do so.
Please feel free to comment below.
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Until next time, remember, Change Begins With You.